Confessions of an evolutionary creationist

Anyone who knows me well knows my journey. I had been raised in a christian home my whole life but was a very lukewarm, do really bad stuff all the time, accept Jesus into my heart again type of guy. That had all changed in October when I was challenged in my beliefs and I went down an intellectual journey. There were good times and also really bad times but I was enjoying learning about science and theology. 

My entire life I always thought that being a Christian meant that you had to be really hostile towards evolution and athiests/agnostics. My entire mindset had changed not because of the overwhelming evidence for it, but because I learned you could be a Christian AND believe that God used natural processes such as evolution to get us here. 

I have listened to both sides of the arguments and I have been reading tons of books and listening to podcasts about how to interpret Genesis and how evolution fits into Christianity. I had felt convicted after doing all this because I was shying away from reading the Bible myself and not trusting God to help me through my doubts. 

I heard some pastor preaching and he talked about how he would pray whenever he had doubts and wanted to explore a topic. So I decided to try it. I started praying about some doubts I had and some theological questions I had. And it all felt really great. Then I thought, what if people are right and that evolution/old earth is all false and I am going to hell. 

So I started praying and asked God “what do YOU want me to believe? Am I spouting heresy? Should I be taking every passage in the Bible literally?” I was so scared. Not because I didn’t think I was going to get an answer but I was scared because I thought God would be mad at me. I thought that God would be angry over incorrect beliefs. 

I got one simple answer right when I asked it though. “Follow me” 

As soon as I heard that, my entire mindset changed. 

I realized that Jesus hasn’t called us to be an Evolutionary Creationist, Young Earth Creationist, or even an Intelligent Design advocate, He doesn’t call us to be liberal or conservative. He calls us to follow Him. 

Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t care about theology or science but rather to follow Jesus first. 

I think as Christians we have made it too much about politics and condemning people. Now, after I have said all this, keep in mind that I struggle with these things too. Its so easy to get caught up in politics and how to interpret the Bible but I really feel like Jesus is waiting for everyone and saying “follow me” 

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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questions and answers pt 1

why do we struggle to love those whom we feel don’t deserve Gods love? and what are Gods tips on how to love those whom are hard to love?

before we begin i would like to start off by saying that with the questions and answers series i will try to give the scientific answer and what God says about the matter. also feel free to ask any type of question to be on my blog. 

the bible specifically talks about this very thing in the bible! in the book of jonah, God tells jonah to go to nineveh and tell them that He will destroy them if they don’t repent. and we all know this next part: Jonah runs away and tries to sail on a boat to get away from God! why would jonah do that? jonah wants nineveh to suffer. he wants God to pour out His wrath on them. jonah didn’t want to preach to them and tell them to repent because he knew God has too much love and mercy. in other words, Jonah hated nineveh and wanted God to hate them as well.

jonah later goes and preaches to them and they all repent (exactly what he feared) and afterwards, jonah gets super depressed and tells God to kill him. jonah really hated nineveh…

another story in the bible that deals with this topic briefly is the parable of the prodigal son. i won’t go into detail about the story but you can check it out. the story is found at Luke 15:11-32.

now when we struggle with loving someone and you don’t think they deserve God’s love, just remember: nobody deserves God’s love. that’s what makes christianity different. in all the other religions you have to earn god’s love and in christianity its Jesus who loved us first and loves us no matter what.  i will first start off by saying that when we struggle to love or forgive someone it is usually because of a trauma that a person has caused. when we think of a past trauma  our emotions that we had during the trauma are triggered again to where you feel the same way you did during the time of the trauma. for example if you had a relationship with someone who you loved and you found out they were cheating on you. all the negative emotions you were experiencing would be associated with the people involved. one way to try and forgive someone is to talk about what had happened. if we talk about the event that happened we can change our emotional response when you think of it.

God’s advice on how to love those who are hard to love or we feel like don’t deserve His love is to pray. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies and to love our neighbors as our self. If we don’t talk to God and ask Him for peace and ask Him to help us forgive people and to love others then we will make no progress.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poorand give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

suffering

“why would you allow this to happen God?”

every one of us has asked this question at least once. we all have had letdowns, pain, relationships end, felt lonely etc. in our very chaotic and busy world it’s very conmon to wonder where God would be in the midst of all of it. people will tell us that we go through seasons in life. bad seasons, stressful seasons, great seasons etc. but in our bad seasons we all wonder “when will this end?” there are times where i feel like a great season is right around the corner and i just need to push through for a few more days only to be crushed when another problem prolongs the season. it seems like every day things just get worse and worse and worse. so why do we experience this? is it because God ran out of better things to do so He wants to torture you? is it because you are a sinner and He is punishing you? i would definitely say no to both of those. in our bad seasons, most of us would say that Jesus isn’t working in our lives and He is only working in the good times. but its the opposite. every bad season is building up for a great one. think of Jesus for a second. he had to go through absolute torture but He knew what all this was for. i would say it turned out pretty well… bad seasons suck but during our bad seasons is when Jesus is working the most in our lives. tough times bring great times. so instead of asking “God why is this happening to me?” start asking “God what is happening to me?” 

so where is God in the midst of all this chaos? for that answer i have to tell you my story. my past few months have been absolutely horrible. people will tell me i am not really a christian because i affirm evolution and an old earth, my teachers sit there almost every class bashing people who believe in it. months ago i went through a life change and so i ended a relationship with a girl to follow Jesus. i thought people would be helping me in my walk with Him, but they actually got worse. i got tons of crap for ending a two month relationship and people all said my life change was a hoax. and just when things couldn’t get worse, i screwed up a relationship with someone i really liked. and everyday i had to sit there wondering why i was such a screwup. my self esteem has almost hit rock bottom. i have panic attacks daily now, and i have terrible grades because of how stressed out i am. every day i say its gonna be better tomorrow until another problem arises. my life has gone from idolatry in football to having a life change to being lonely. my calling in life is to be a pastor but i create sermons and i am absolutely terrible at them and i’m not getting any better. i keep stuttering or messing up my words, i have no idea what i’m going to preach about either. i try to get away from the drama of school at youth until i realize there is tons of drama there as well. almost every day i wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning because of how nervous and scared i am for the next day and in all of this i keep asking “God why is this happening to me?” “why choose me at a young age, why not wait?” and in this process i have realized that i have been praying to heaven asking God to help me. “where are you?” when i pray to heaven i often feel distant from God, but then i realized: God isn’t just in heaven. He is sitting right next to me every night before i go to bed, He is walking with me to class, He is sitting right next to me in class when teachers bash my beliefs and me who holds the beliefs. He is there when i am eating with my family, He is there when i screw up my sermons and applauding me for trying to follow Him. He pursues me in my darkest days, He pursues me even after i screw up, He pursues me when i’m lost, when i’m running from Him and when i have nothing to do except get on my knees and pray. in the midst of all this, i know Jesus loves me. not because the bible says so or my friends say so or my parents say so, but i know it because i have felt so. so when i pray i don’t look up to the sky. i look to my right, i look to my left, and i know even when i feel lonely that i have the creator of the freaking universe sitting right by me in the midst of all the chaos.


“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:38-39‬ ‭NIV‬‬

welcome!

hey guys, 
i have decided to start a blog. since i have no friends and nobody to vent to i have decided to vent online. on my blog i will answer questions that people have about God, theology, science, personal questions, or anything you could possibly think of. i probably will write my next blog post on the Bible and how it can affect our everyday lives. i also will answer questions like how do fans work all the way to who is your favorite person in the world. don’t be afraid to dm me because like i said i don’t have friends. so if you have any questions go ahead and ask them!!